Here's how to fix that.
Most of us repeat the keyword in our paper several dozen times over five paragraphs. It makes our writing sound like elementary school instead of middle school.
Here's how to fix that.
If I were writing my concluding paragraph on the movie Epic, here's how I would write it:
A quote by Arthur C. Clarke sums up the movie Epic: Magic is just science that we don't understand yet. Professor Bomba spends the entire film trying to prove there is a race of tiny people that inhabit the forest where he lives. In the end, his daughter proves this to be true. Sure, Epic is a great movie, but does it fit the traditional description of a fairy tale? My answer is yes. It's a giant battle between good and evil, and magic is a major force for both sides to use. There's a nice love story between MK and Nod, and most importantly, the good guys win before the end credits roll. Its moral and its use of the supernatural combine to make Epic a modern take on the stories we all loved as kids, plus it's good to see an original plotline instead of another remake. There are a few stereotypes I could do without, but overall, it's a good film that is worthy of our your time.
What would the outline for this paper look like?
MY MAIN IDEA - Yes, Epic is not only a modern day fairy tale, it's a good one.
BODY ONE - Several elements from traditional fairy tales are in Epic: fairies, magic, true love, and a fight to the death between good and evil.
BODY TWO - What does it say that classic fairy tales don't? The girl saves the day instead of being rescued. The child can know more about something than the parent. Describe how MK clues in her dad to the mysteries of the fairy world, and show how she was a crucial part of defeating the Boggans.
BODY THREE - What didn't I like about it? I'm tired of the nerdy, clueless scientist with glasses stereotype. It would have been better if Professor Bomba was more of a real person and less of a caricature.
The only thing I want to do differently from this video is for you to write online in Office 365 so you can share your document with me when it's done. Please don't share until I tell you. I want your final draft, not every draft of every paragraph as you work.
By the end of class on Wednesday, your outline and your first paragraph should be done. Work diligently, friends.
Happy Monday. My daughter is sick today, so we're at the doctor. Here's what needs to be done.
If you're writing the five paragraph essay, your outline for what all three paragraphs will say should be complete when I see you tomorrow. Remember not to use my examples as your paper - you have to come up with your own story and your own outline.
BODY ONE - I will tell the original story of Puss in Boots.
BODY TWO - I will show how the movie shows him to be smart, just like the original story.
BODY THREE - I will show that the movie version of Puss in Boots is not only smart, but a caring cat with a good heart. This makes him a true hero.
Once your outline is done, write your first body paragraph of 8-10 sentences. Do your writing in Office 365 so you can share it with me when it's finished. I'll check every two days to see if you've finished another paragraph. We have only ten days left, so this works out perfectly. Make sure you're working instead of talking. If not, you'll lose points as we go. We need to work diligently on this every day instead of waiting until the last minute to do it all.
See you tomorrow.
It can be a five paragraph essay comparing a movie to its book or story version.
It can be a five paragraph essay comparing two movies that tell the same story.
It can be a prequel or a sequel scene from a book, movie or TV show of your choice.
If you write the essay, we need three body paragraphs and an introduction and conclusion.
If you write the story, it should explain itself and make sense to a fan of your series.
First, plan what you're going to write, then write it.
Writing exercise! Click here when I tell you. Not until, though.
It's (with an apostrophe) is a contraction for IT IS or IT WAS
Its (with no apostrophe) talks about something that belongs to IT, whatever IT is.
If you're writing a final paper instead of a story, here's another example of how to paraphrase. Please follow in instead of changing every fifth word from an internet article.
What's due by the end of the hour today?
The outline of what your three body paragraphs will say
When that's finished, start your writing.
You'll need a new 8 to 10 sentence paragraph every two days until break.
When your paper is done, we'll peer evaluate.
Pay attention to detail. If you finish early, I'll have you write another paper to keep you busy. If I give you feedback, pay attention to it and respond to it to get the best grade you can.
Here's today's lesson.
No handout today, but write these things down on a sheet of paper and study for Monday's quiz.
No more than four words in a row from the original source.
Use an introductory phrase to condense two sentences into one.
Switch the order of the sentence so the first comes last and the last comes first.
Don't use the same words over and over again. Find different ways to say things.
Tell us what the sentence means to you. Give yourself time to figure that out.
We'll close the semester with our Fairy Tale Unit. Unsure of what we need to do? Scroll down to the December 2nd post and read the bullet points.
Here's my first body paragraph that tells the story of the original Puss in Boots story. I took a HUGE paragraph and summarized it in eight short sentences. Boo yah.
To make sure we're moving forward, our grades on this will be participation. Every two days, I'll check with each team to see that another paragraph is done. Eight to ten sentences is what we need.
Here are what I want to say in my three body paragraphs:
BODY ONE - Tell the original story of Puss in Boots.
BODY TWO - Show how the movie shows him to be smart, just like the original story.
BODY THREE - Show how he's not only smart, but a caring cat with a good heart that wants the best for everyone. This shows us that he is a true hero.
What will I say in my introduction and conclusion? I don't know yet, but this is a good plan for my three body paragraphs I came up with in just a few minutes.
The only stories you can't outline are the ones I show you as examples. Let's get to work.
Many of us struggle with paraphrasing. It's time consuming, but it's not as difficult as you think. Here's a quick example.
Our editing program still isn't working, but this time, it's not working in a new and exciting way. If I could revert to an older operating system, I could fix it, but Apple has made it so I can't do that, and we're stuck with an OS where it won't work for half of us. I tried to make it work, but the computer gods have said NO! We have three weeks of school left. Let's do something other than edit video while I figure out how to start next semester totally in Premiere. I wish I had another choice. I don't. Sad face.
We'll end the semester with a unit on Fairy Tales. Your group will have several choices for a final paper.
We'll start by watching one of my favorite fairy tale sequels, Hook, then you'll see my writing on it for an example. Then, you'll write your own paper or story.
It's not very different from filming with a Nikon.
Look at the lens. Turn on the VR for Vibration Reduction. Set the focus switch to A for auto, as you see in this video.
Turn on the power switch you see in this video. Hold the camera up to your face and look through the eyepiece.
Set the rotary knob on the top for the green camera that says AUTO, as you see in this video.
If the camera thinks the room is too dark, the flash will pop up and go off when you take the photo.
If you want to shoot without the flash, set it for the lightning bolt with the slash through it, right below the green camera that says AUTO.
Press down the silver shutter button you see in this video, but only halfway. The camera will beep, or you may see rectangles flash through the eyepiece. That means the camera is autofocused and ready to take your picture.
Once you hear the beep or see the rectangles, push the button down the rest of the way. It wil take your picture.
Here's a photo of a second hour team with the flash turned on. No filter on the images.
What did I learn from it? Some stuff I already knew, and some that I didn't.
Here's the same photo with the flash turned off.
Same class, different group. Here we go.
Let's move on to Sixth Hour. Same photo. One with flash, one without.
The top image with the flash makes the faces pop, but we get glare on Ashlyn's glasses and on the wall behind them. It also looks like the flash makes the picture a little more in focus than without it. I like the top image because of that.
Quiz scores and morale are low recently. I think many of us have forgotten why the class exists, so let's look at some student projects to remind us of all the creative stuff we can do in this room that we can't do anywhere else.
All of these videos were produced by my students, both here in Fort Wayne, and for the 15 years I taught Media Production in West Michigan.
The first one is a stalker video, something I recently asked us not to do, but it was produced before I taught that lesson, and it's a great video. The crew was one student, her stepmom and her cousin. That's all. Filmmaking is easy when you work with people who see the fun in it.
Let's start the semester by adding meaning to a script that is vague. On purpose.
An Open Scene is any short film where the words could mean anything you wanted, depending on what we see the actors do while they speak. Here are the two scenes we will use in Media. Each team should pick one script, and no two teams can write the same story. Here are your choices.
A: Get out of here.
B: I think I’ll stay.
A: You are not supposed to be here.
B: And you are?
A: Are you out of your mind?
B: Are you?
A: Just leave already.
B: You first.
A: Can you believe that?
A: What are we going to do?
A: This could be awful.
B: Nah, we can manage it.
A: Got any ideas?
B: Yeah, but don't tell anyone.
A: Check it out.
B: No way.
A: This is unbelievable.
A: Not if you paid me a million dollars.
B: I'm telling.
A: No way.
B: Here I go.
B: Not if you paid me a million dollars.
A: I didn’t expect to see you here.
B: I could say the same for you.
A: What’s new?
B: Not much. You?
A. Same. It’s supposed to rain today.
B: Oh, really?
B: Well, see you later.
A: Yeah, I’ll see you around.
So where do you start? You could make it simple by taking the words and conveying a general feeling between the characters.
If you want to go deeper, dream up a situation that fits their conversation, and act it out as the scene progresses. Here's my scene:
A: I’m going to do it.
B: Me too.
A: It can’t be as tough as they say.
B: What do they say?
A: That it’s scary and risky and there’s a slight chance of...
B: Slight chance of what?
A: Yeah. Would I lie to you?
B: No, I don't think you would.
Take three minutes and come up with a scenario to match these lines. If you get one, type it into the Secretive Quiz. If not, no worries. We'll see what you come up with in three minutes.
The right side of the room needs to film their own project by November 25th.
The left side of the room needs to film their own project by December 2nd.
Usually only 35% percent of my students make their own movies, and their grade suffer for it. Remember the point of the class is for you to make your own movies, not rely on the teacher to do it for you. If you don't film, there are three projects you would work on right now:
City Champs 2019 - This year's Volleyball Championships. It's on Camera E.
Miami Volleyball - This year's home game vs. Miami Middle School. It's on Camera D
Homework 2019 - This semester's homework video. It's on Cameras A, B, C, E and 2.
The titles for each project are underlined above. Make sure you capitalize them as above, too.
Scan in all three of these as a new event to iMovie by Friday, November 22nd. This is a four-day week, so you'll need to move quickly.
The City Champs video is LONG and will take some time to import. When you're done, say these words loudly. "Who needs to import City Volleyball Championships?" Someone will raise their hand or say "ME!" Give them the camera after you properly eject it. The City Volleyball Camera should always be importing. It shouldn't be sitting in the cabinet, doing nothing.
The Homework Video begins with a high angle shot of the classroom door. It ends with a shot of the hallway. Make sure you import all the clips you need. They will be together on the same day.
The clips you'll need for City Volleyball are pictured below. Note the date is October 17th.
Pictured here are the clips for Miami Volleyball. Note the date is October 10th.
To import your stuff, you'll need to remember which camera you used to film. Look at the top and the number is engraved there, like this one.
If you have a JVC Camera, a letter will be engraved there, not a number.
Take the camera and a camera cable to your desk. You don't need the part that plugs into the wall, just the camera and the cable.
Many groups are telling me they have no audio. Here's the lesson we studied and quizzed over back in September. Watch it again if you need it. Can't hear it? Watch it at a neighbor's computer, then fix the problem.
Switching to Adobe has been tough. It feels like many of us are afraid to try the new program since it’s harder than what we’ve known before. It’s putting a big weight on me to not only learn and teach the program, but to keep us focused and learning at the same time.
We’ll be switching a good deal of our grading to daily participation. We’ve been working on the Volleyball Video in Premiere for a month, but no one is finished with it yet. We’re forgetting basic procedures, and only 35% of us have made a video of our own. The other 65% are relying on me alone to provide us with footage. In any functioning business, the workers have to do their part to keep things moving. The supervisor can’t do it all, so here’s my plan.
Each team will log what they accomplish each day, like a time card. How far have you edited in your current video? Tell me the finished time at the end of each day, so we can track your progress. If you worked on adding credits or music, log that, too. Type it at the end of the hour in a Word Document or a Pages Document and save it on your desktop. At the end of the week, we should see something like this:
Monday, November 11 - Edited Volleyball in Premiere to 5:25. Had some trouble getting Ripple Delete to work, so that took more time than we thought.
Tuesday, November 12 – Edited Volleyball to 8:46 and found two songs on Audioblocks for the final video.
Wednesday, November 13 – No editing today. We planned for our next video. It will be a commercial for Spotify Music Service. Our slogan will be “Your life is a playlist.”
Thursday, November 14 – Scanned in the Homework Movie and edited Volleyball to 10:17.
Friday, November 15 – Edited Volleyball to 13:27.
I’ll do notebook checks with each group once per week, on different days to spread it out. Log your work daily so you can account for what you’ve done. Many of us are taking weeks to finish a simple video, and it’s time we picked up the pace so we can make movies of our own.
Many of us are taking cameras home and not bringing them back to school. Several are still out because we’ve forgotten them for days. Do you still have one? Bring it back. We need it. I think sometimes we’re afraid to get in trouble by bringing it back late, so we let it sit in our room, then we feel guilty for it. Don’t be. Bring the cameras back and we can all do our work.
Meet me at the camera cabinet before school and we’ll put it away together. I like to remind you the camera you have, so you’ll remember which one to get during work time. If I’m in the office and you’ll be late to first hour, no worries. I’ll write you a pass. Don’t put the camera away without me. Let me help you remember which one you need.
When you’re done importing your video, the camera goes back to the cabinet. Let’s put Cameras 1, 2, 3 and A, B and C on the top shelf. 4, 5, 6 and D, E and F go on the second shelf. Return all cables along with the cameras. It will be a mess while we figure this out. Again, no worries.
This is a lot of notes – enough for one day, anyway. Study for tomorrow’s quiz, which we’ll take a dozen times to make sure we remember. Thanks.